You guys, something absolutely crazy happened in March...and I've been keeping a big secret.
After two long years of wishing and hoping and countless doctor's appointments...we did it.
We. conceived. a. human. being!!!
!!!!!!!! My feelings exactly. Thanks, Abby Lee Miller.
!!!!!!!! My feelings exactly. Thanks, Abby Lee Miller.
I'll back up a little. The last post I wrote about our struggle with infertility was after our IVF appointment in March. Apparently I was a few days pregnant at the meeting and (obviously) didn’t know it yet. The universe has a crazy sense of humor.
When IT was over a week late, I woke up at 5 in the morning, unable to sleep, wondering if I could actually be pregnant. Surely the timing couldn’t be this good -- the scary dollar amount for IVF written in chicken scratch on a doctor’s notepad was still very, very fresh in my mind. I’ve been a few days late in the past, but I never take pregnancy tests -- seeing a negative sign was too depressing after the first few months of trying. I rather IT just come and save me the money on tests I would’ve wasted.
Well, that morning I finally got up, walked to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test for the first time in many, many months. My heart stopped when I saw the result: two big, dark, positive lines.
I immediately barged through the bathroom and scared James out of his sleep with my hysterics. We cried, we laughed, we hugged. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.
Of course, being who I am, elation was quickly followed by worry. I’ve tried to enjoy the first trimester the best I could, but I couldn’t help but let the “what if’s” creep into my mind. The weeks to my first ultrasound crawled. I am one of those girls who admittedly took multiple pregnancy tests week after week to make sure I was indeed still pregnant. I was so nervous before our first ultrasound at 7 weeks that I thought I might be sick -- and not from morning sickness. But when we heard that galloping little heart beat, James and I just grinned at each other -- a baby was actually in there! Since I haven’t experienced any other pregnancy symptom besides tiredness, seeing and hearing that little life on screen was beyond comforting. Of course, the minute the ultrasound tech left the room, I sat in the adjacent bathroom and cried my eyes out. All of the anxiety and worry and the long wait to experience that moment came flooding out of me all at once. I couldn't believe it. This was actually happening. After two very long years of waiting, our baby was finally here.
12 week ultrasound. Hey, baby!
Keeping a secret this big has been hard. The first thing I wanted to do when I found out (after calling our families and best friends, of course), was share our great news in this corner of my world. So many of you have been my strength during this tough time. This space has not only served as a place to share my work and my creativity, but it’s also a place where I’ve received a little bit of therapy; a place I can express my feelings and connect with some of you who have experienced -- or are currently experiencing -- the same thing (or something similar.)
The friendships I’ve made and strengthened over the past two years are truly invaluable to me. Thank you for all cheering me on, for writing me e-mails and notes of support and encouragement, for calling me to see how I was doing. Some days were tougher than others, but all that love I received helped me make it through. You will never know how much it means to me.
We submitted blood for genetics testing recently, and one of the bonuses of the test is finding out the sex a little earlier than usual. We're hosting a gender reveal party for our families this weekend, and I can’t wait to share photos from the afternoon with you guys. We are crossing our fingers for signs of a healthy baby boy or girl!
A few random bullets:
- Since the beginning of November we sought the help of Dr. Slayden of Reproductive Biology Associates in Atlanta. He and the other doctors and nurses we saw at the practice during this time were wonderful, kind and understanding. If you’re struggling with infertility, my advice would be to seek out a specialist in your area. My only regret is that we didn’t see Dr. Slayden earlier.
- James and I tried 5 IUI procedures; 2 through my gyno’s office and 3 through Dr. Slayden. None of them worked. AsI’ve mentioned before, I’ve been prescribed Clomid and Femara to stimulate ovulation, which didn’t necessarily do much in my case. I ovulate naturally on my own, and the drugs didn’t produce any more follicles (extra targets!) like my doctors had hoped.
- In March I took Femara and used Ovidril (a shot that triggers ovulation) like we always do, but we didn’t try any procedures that month...and we still conceived! Who knows?! I guess the timing was right.
- I’ve been lucky with no morning sickness, but I've been exhausted, hence my being absent from this little space over the last couple of months. I've gotten most of my energy back lately, though, and I'm so thankful for that.
- I’ve been craving carbs like crazy. I couldn’t eat chicken or broccoli until recently (the textures, tastes and smells completely grossed me out). I’ve been trying to eat as many veggies and fruits as I can with all the crackers and toast.
- Ultrasounds are the coolest things ever. We were able to see and hear the baby at 7 weeks, 10 weeks and again at 12 weeks. My fertility doctor's machine was able to show us 3D ultrasounds, which was so neat. My next appointment is June 24 -- James’s birthday! I can’t wait.
- Baby is due December 9 -- on James's brother's birthday!
- I’m 14 weeks today. I’m just now starting to show a little bump:
...but it kinda just looks like I ate 10 tacos, so there's that. I can't wait for the bump to look more like a big, round baby bump soon.
I’m looking forward to sharing more in the near future and taking you guys along on this journey with us! Thanks again for all your love and support. -- Natty