This weekend we spent lots of time with family. We're lucky -- most of immediate families and aunts, uncles and cousins live nearby, but a couple of my cousins live a long drive or plane ride away -- in Philadelphia and Florida. It's always a good time when we can get the whole clan together. Little Penny was in attendance (and cuter than ever -- talking up a storm and charming us all day with her sweet personality), and a new member of the family made an appearance, too -- baby Tyler, who arrived this past February! He is a little chunk of love -- smiley, alert and pretty much perfect. Lisa, my cousin on the left, is half-way through her first pregnancy (a little boy!) and my cousin Amy, second from left, is half-way through her second pregnancy (with twins -- a boy and a girl!) Of course, I already have baby fever, but it was multiplied times one million by the time we left to go home.
This week I start my third round of Clomid. (Insert dramatic sigh here). If I'm going to be honest, I'm starting to feel a little complacent with all this baby makin' stuff. It's been a crazy roller coaster ride over the past year and a half, and I think I'm all out of emotions as far as the subject is concerned. I feel numb. I've literally reached a plateau -- either it's going to happen soon...or it's not. It sounds simple, but it's taken me a long time to get here. I find myself wondering, what's the point of trying so hard anymore? Since all of our tests (many, many tests) have come back with
incredibly frustrating "normal" results, radical medical intervention, like IVF, seems premature and unnecessary at this point. So I'm not sure where I'll go after this round of Clomid, if anywhere. I'd love to be able to go inside my uterus, shake it, and yell, "What the heck is going on in here?! Get it together!" Ha (but seriously). Maybe seeing a specialist is in our future, but right now, I'm over discussing my lady parts with doctors. Nature may just have to run its real slow course with us after all.
This morning I'm taking a deep breath -- it's a new week. Time to make it a good day and be thankful for what I already have...which is a lot. As always, thanks for listening.
I hope you all have a great start to your week, too ♥