True story: I'm a worrier. And, as one of my best friends would likely add, a stewer. I worry, I stew, I repeat. And I hate it. I wish I was one of those people who never worried about anything. But I am far from carefree -- I've always been like this. I like to have a plan, and I like to try and stick to it. Deviating from the plan -- or having a plan that goes awry -- tends to give me major anxiety. The other night I had a bit of a breaking point because I've been suppressing so much. Work and my personal life are proving to be a little insane lately, but I've been pushing pesky worries and anxieties associated with both of them away. And of course, keeping things under the surface for so long is never a good idea. They just end up being way worse when they finally bubble over. Cue this face.
I think a lot of these feelings stem from me being a bit of a perfectionist. I find myself asking questions like, "Is this photo Instagramable?" "Is this project pinable?" "Is this artwork worth selling in the shop?" and I won't even go into the other questions I ask myself about myself, because I know they're probably a little crazy. Boy, I'm tough on myself sometimes. But I have all of these plans and dreams, and well, I want them to all happen now. Like, 5 minutes ago. It's definitely a work in progress, but I'm trying to train myself to let go of these feelings. Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for, right?
And thank goodness for James. He is the yin to my crazy a** yang. A big hug from him and a long talk later after this, I felt like a major weight was lifted from my shoulders. He reminded me that the "what if's" are uncontrollable, and the best we can do is take everything one day at a time. So, I'm really going to try to make a conscious effort to remember this simple fact moving forward. Getting all my worries out in the open made me feel so much better, and while some of them are still with me, just knowing I'm not alone gave me just what I needed -- a gentle push forward. Everyone needs a person they can lean on when times get tough. I'm lucky I'm married to mine. (And, I'm bringing a little more of this into my daily routine, because it truly helps.)
So, who else is a worry wart like me? How do you handle stress?
Artwork by Ludvig Nevland.